(as) pissed as a newt British vulgar slang simile
The noun "newt" can be replaced by "fart".
To be awfully drunk to the point of losing all cognitive function.
I think you should call a cab to get home because you're as pissed as a newt.
Randy was pissed as a newt at the party and didn't recall what had happened.
The expression came from Nelson's time. At that time, Royal Navy junior ensigns were known as "newts." Since they were so young, they can get drunk easily with just a little amount of rum.
If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.
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Used to emphasize that someone or something is a lot more or a lot better
Mia can paint a damn sight better than I can.