Be not so much (something) as (something else) phrase
If you say that something is not so much one thing as something else, you mean it is less like the first thing than the second one.
They are not so much as friends as lovers.
She wasn't so much angry as sad when he said hurtful words to her.
If you like something very much or find something appealing or interesting to you, it strikes your fancy.
What do you want to drink?
What one person finds pleasant, delightful, or advantageous may be hated by another.
A great amount or number of something
People are always inclined to flatter or please a rich man by laughing at his joke which may not be a very good one.
Everyone at the table always flatter the boss by praising his humor. A rich man's jokes are always funny.