Of two minds American phrase
If you are of two minds, you are in a situation in which you are unable to make a decision because you are holding two competing or contradictory beliefs, views, opinions etc. at the same time.
I am of two minds about whether I should go to the party tonight.
I'm really of two minds about quitting my current job.
To keep optimistic or have hope that something positive will occur and simultaneously prepare for a negative outcome
All I can do is hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.